1
00:00:01,300 --> 00:00:03,936
(SOFT COUNTRY MUSIC)

2
00:00:03,937 --> 00:00:05,438
BARTENDER: <i>These are compliments</i>

3
00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:07,106
<i>of the gentleman at
the end of the bar.</i>

4
00:00:07,107 --> 00:00:08,407
- What?
- <i>Yeah.</i>

5
00:00:09,777 --> 00:00:11,277
They were too spicy.

6
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,715
<i>They're not very good, no.</i>

7
00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:18,751
<i>But uh, I'll take the
blue cheese back though.</i>

8
00:00:18,752 --> 00:00:20,887
("DANCING UNDERWATER" BY BRAVE SHORES)

9
00:00:20,888 --> 00:00:23,823
<i>? Me and my friends
will spike the punch,</i> ?

10
00:00:23,824 --> 00:00:26,225
<i>? Rolling in the party
we'll start the fun ?</i>

11
00:00:26,226 --> 00:00:28,561
? <i>Get fancy</i> ?

12
00:00:28,562 --> 00:00:29,695
? <i>Hey Hey</i> ?

13
00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:32,732
<i>? There's no clouds its just the sun ?</i>

14
00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:36,269
<i>? Living in times that
are meant for fun, yeah ?</i>

15
00:00:38,605 --> 00:00:41,541
<i>? Hold your breath a little longer ?</i>

16
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:44,911
<i>? Let's go dancing underwater ?</i>

17
00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:47,613
<i>? Oh, oh, oh oh ?</i>

18
00:00:48,415 --> 00:00:49,415
DR. LOCKY: <i>Melissa?</i>

19
00:00:49,416 --> 00:00:50,550
Hello.

20
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:52,051
DR. LOCKY: <i>Hi, I'm Dr. Corrie Locky.</i>

21
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,286
<i>Pleasure to meet you.</i>

22
00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:54,887
Very nice to meet you.

23
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,422
Okay, well I'm
surprised that at your age

24
00:00:56,423 --> 00:00:58,825
that you've never had a GP before.

25
00:00:58,826 --> 00:00:59,826
Well it's just really hard.

26
00:00:59,827 --> 00:01:01,594
I'm having such a hard
time finding a GP

27
00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:02,895
that's taking on new patients.

28
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:04,197
- Yeah.
- Like, holy moly!

29
00:01:04,198 --> 00:01:05,431
It can be hard in the city, yeah.

30
00:01:05,432 --> 00:01:06,666
It is really hard.

31
00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:08,334
Well listen, before I decide
to take you on as a patient,

32
00:01:08,335 --> 00:01:10,403
are you comfortable answering
a few personal questions?

33
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:11,704
Oh my god, yes! Yes!

34
00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:12,705
- Okay.
- Okay.

35
00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:14,006
- Okay, great.
- Good.

36
00:01:14,007 --> 00:01:15,675
Um, and I just need you
to answer them honestly.

37
00:01:15,676 --> 00:01:17,410
What?! Oh no!

38
00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:18,845
I have a problem now. I will.

39
00:01:18,846 --> 00:01:20,413
Whatever you want me to do,
I'll do that.

40
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:21,614
I'll do whatever you're
thinking that you want,

41
00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:22,682
- I'll do it.
- Great.

42
00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:24,016
Okay good. I'll start
with an easy one,

43
00:01:24,017 --> 00:01:25,251
do you smoke?

44
00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:26,652
No! I'm just...

45
00:01:26,653 --> 00:01:27,653
Yes.

46
00:01:27,654 --> 00:01:28,821
Well that, (FUNNY VOICE)
what are you doing?

47
00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:31,557
I do it, but like, it's just a, not...

48
00:01:31,558 --> 00:01:32,658
- When I drink.
- When you drink?

49
00:01:32,659 --> 00:01:34,393
- MELISSA: <i>Yeah.
- Okay, how much do you drink?</i>

50
00:01:34,394 --> 00:01:36,229
Well, it depends how
much I want to smoke.

51
00:01:36,230 --> 00:01:37,230
Can you give me a specific number?

52
00:01:37,231 --> 00:01:38,231
Yes I can.

53
00:01:38,232 --> 00:01:39,232
And I...

54
00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:40,900
The normalest one.

55
00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:41,968
Do you wanna give me a number?

56
00:01:41,969 --> 00:01:45,438
Yes I do, and like,
I'm gonna use a scale

57
00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:47,573
'cause I'm a math person,
so I'm a good person,

58
00:01:47,574 --> 00:01:49,675
that you won't want me,

59
00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:51,110
<i>you will want me around.
So I'm gonna give you... </i>

60
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:53,012
Okay, so what number
would you give me?

61
00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:54,180
Like on a one to ten?

62
00:01:54,181 --> 00:01:55,748
Sure.

63
00:01:55,749 --> 00:01:57,383
What's the normalest
number in the middle?

64
00:01:57,384 --> 00:01:58,918
Five, oh, I don't know.

65
00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:00,219
- Five...
- <i>Hoop.</i>

66
00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:01,721
A five.

67
00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:04,056
Five cigarettes or drinks?

68
00:02:04,057 --> 00:02:05,124
Cigs.

69
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,792
Cigarettes? Okay, and
how many drinks a week

70
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:07,793
<i>would you say you have?</i>

71
00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:11,230
Mmmmmmmmmm.

72
00:02:11,231 --> 00:02:12,231
- 31.
- <i>31?</i>

73
00:02:12,232 --> 00:02:13,232
- 11.
- 11?

74
00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:14,233
MELISSA: <i>17, 6.</i>

75
00:02:14,234 --> 00:02:15,234
- DR. LOCKY: <i>Six?
- Two.</i>

76
00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:16,235
<i>- Two?
- Minus point five.</i>

77
00:02:16,236 --> 00:02:18,671
Five? And, are you sexually active?

78
00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:22,675
Uhh, like I wouldn't
say that I go buck-wild

79
00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:25,177
and rip my hair out or pinch
his nipples or anything,

80
00:02:25,178 --> 00:02:26,178
but, what I,

81
00:02:26,179 --> 00:02:27,513
but I don't lay there
like a lazy starfish.

82
00:02:27,514 --> 00:02:29,315
What I'll do is, like,
an average pace.

83
00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:31,117
- Okay. No I actually just...
- Like a soft roll.

84
00:02:31,118 --> 00:02:32,718
Yeah, I just, um,

85
00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:36,122
I just meant how many
partners do you have?

86
00:02:36,123 --> 00:02:37,823
About...

87
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:38,824
- Normal.
- Normal?

88
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:39,825
You and me.

89
00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:40,826
How many do you have?

90
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:41,827
I mean, whatever you have, I have.

91
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:43,329
- The usual, average.
- Just ballpark?

92
00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:44,730
No, I've never had sex in a ballpark.

93
00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:46,132
I will. Do you want me to?
What's it like?

94
00:02:46,133 --> 00:02:48,000
I don't know if you know that,
but I'm gonna do that for you.

95
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,535
- Okay. Okay.
- <i>And then you'll be my doctor.</i>

96
00:02:49,536 --> 00:02:50,970
- Melissa, Melissa.
- Yes?

97
00:02:50,971 --> 00:02:52,171
It's okay, just relax.

98
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,339
- Relax, it's okay.
- Really?

99
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:54,540
DR. LOCKY:
<i>It's okay to have a cigarette,</i>

100
00:02:54,541 --> 00:02:55,574
it's okay to have a drink,

101
00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:56,575
it's okay to have sex.

102
00:02:56,576 --> 00:02:58,110
<i>None of that is gonna stop me</i>

103
00:02:58,111 --> 00:03:00,079
from taking you on as a patient, okay?

104
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:01,147
I'm sorry

105
00:03:01,148 --> 00:03:04,517
and thank you so much,
and I apologize for any...

106
00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:05,785
Don't worry, it's natural.

107
00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:07,820
Okay so, what brings you here?

108
00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:09,121
Well...

109
00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:11,357
blrrr, drum roll!

110
00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:12,491
I...

111
00:03:12,492 --> 00:03:13,726
I'm thinkin' I'm gonna have a baby.

112
00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:14,827
I'd like to have a baby.

113
00:03:14,828 --> 00:03:15,962
- Oh!
- Yeah.

114
00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:17,129
Oooh, actually in that case,

115
00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:18,464
I'm not accepting patients.

116
00:03:18,465 --> 00:03:19,465
I forgot to mention that.

117
00:03:19,466 --> 00:03:20,866
- Not now, or ever, really.
- Wha...

118
00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:21,867
Thanks, Felicia.

119
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:22,868
Till now. It's Melissa.

120
00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:24,303
- Okay, whatever.
- Whatever.

121
00:03:24,304 --> 00:03:25,304
- Thanks.
- Okay, thank you.

122
00:03:25,305 --> 00:03:26,605
Okay.

123
00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:28,975
- You can go.
- I'm still here.

124
00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:30,276
- Okay.
- Okay.

125
00:03:34,247 --> 00:03:36,348
(FOOTSTEPS)

126
00:03:41,088 --> 00:03:42,388
Alice?

127
00:03:42,622 --> 00:03:44,023
- Hi!
- Oh, hi!

128
00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:45,024
Hi!

129
00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:46,559
I didn't know you went to this church.

130
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:47,693
Oh, I just popped in.

131
00:03:47,694 --> 00:03:50,529
Oh, well, don't let me
interrupt your prayers.

132
00:03:50,530 --> 00:03:52,264
Oh, (LAUGHS) no, I wasn't praying.

133
00:03:52,265 --> 00:03:54,367
I was trying to figure out
where to put my furniture

134
00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:56,302
when this place goes condo.

135
00:03:56,303 --> 00:03:57,503
Great natural light.

136
00:03:57,504 --> 00:04:00,639
You can't beat the location.

137
00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:01,941
Yeah.

138
00:04:02,142 --> 00:04:03,142
I have some work to do.

139
00:04:03,143 --> 00:04:04,577
Okay.

140
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:05,911
Hm.

141
00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:08,347
Do you think they'd throw in
some of these bench things?

142
00:04:08,348 --> 00:04:10,249
Certainly got a lot of them.

143
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:11,784
Nobody sitting in them.

144
00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:14,887
Maybe if they had WiFi,

145
00:04:14,888 --> 00:04:16,122
coffee bar.

146
00:04:16,123 --> 00:04:17,189
Wouldn't have gone out of business.

147
00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:19,358
(CLEARS THROAT) Just saying.

148
00:04:19,359 --> 00:04:20,526
(GENTLE INSTRUMENTAL)

149
00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:21,761
Okay.

150
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:24,697
<i>I will be my own stylist.</i>

151
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:26,465
Thank you, YouTube!

152
00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:31,871
Oh, no.

153
00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:34,874
Just thought it would be better.

154
00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:35,875
Got a lot to play with.

155
00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:37,209
Little trim here, little trim there.

156
00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:38,210
<i>You are</i>

157
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:39,478
<i>a good</i>

158
00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:40,479
<i>person.</i>

159
00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:41,781
<i>Uh oh.</i>

160
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:46,152
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

161
00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:47,586
(NERVOUS SQUEAL)

162
00:04:47,587 --> 00:04:48,888
Believe in yourself!

163
00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:50,523
(GRUNT)

164
00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:52,458
I'm sweatin' like a pig.

165
00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:54,427
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)

166
00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:55,928
Maybe this time.

167
00:04:56,696 --> 00:04:58,030
Just even it out.

168
00:04:58,031 --> 00:04:59,598
It's even.

169
00:04:59,599 --> 00:05:00,800
Ho!

170
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:02,201
(BUZZING NOISE)

171
00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:04,070
If I just got my nose done,

172
00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:05,204
it would pull focus.

173
00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:06,205
(UPBEAT MUSIC)

174
00:05:06,206 --> 00:05:07,206
You lived through the nineties.

175
00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:08,774
You know what to do.

176
00:05:08,775 --> 00:05:11,610
(UPBEAT MUSIC)

177
00:05:11,611 --> 00:05:13,312
Terrible product.

178
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:18,451
(UPBEAT MUSIC)

179
00:05:18,452 --> 00:05:20,052
Oh, that's better!

180
00:05:21,788 --> 00:05:24,090
You got a lot there, so.

181
00:05:24,091 --> 00:05:25,391
(EXHALES)

182
00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:29,929
I don't know about this one.

183
00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:31,997
I think I went to a dark place.

184
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:32,998
(PLAYFUL MUSIC)

185
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,467
(LAUGHTER)

186
00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:36,202
No, I'm not from Paris.

187
00:05:36,203 --> 00:05:37,736
I just cut my own bangs.

188
00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:39,371
That's dumb!

189
00:05:39,372 --> 00:05:40,539
Okay, that's not so bad.

190
00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:41,874
<i>This is really bad.</i>

191
00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:42,875
Take what off?

192
00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:44,043
This is my bangs!

193
00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:45,478
(YELLS)

194
00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:46,779
I'll have the sushi.

195
00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:47,780
(EXHALES)

196
00:05:47,781 --> 00:05:49,281
I need to fix this.

197
00:05:49,282 --> 00:05:51,383
My bangs do not define me.

198
00:05:51,384 --> 00:05:52,685
You got that?

199
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,154
(CLEARS THROAT)

200
00:05:55,422 --> 00:05:56,522
Uh, David?

201
00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:57,857
- Hey.
- <i>Hello, I'm Bangs.</i>

202
00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:58,858
Ah, Kim.

203
00:05:58,859 --> 00:05:59,859
- Hi.
- Hi.

204
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:01,393
KIM: <i>So nice to meet you.</i>

205
00:06:02,262 --> 00:06:03,262
Hi, welcome.

206
00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:05,464
I'll have the hot spinach pasta.

207
00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:06,465
WAITRESS: <i>Anything to drink?</i>

208
00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:07,466
KIM: <i>No thank you.</i>

209
00:06:07,467 --> 00:06:08,667
- WAITRESS: <i>Nice bangs.
- Thank you.</i>

210
00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:10,603
My pubic hair is way better.

211
00:06:11,438 --> 00:06:13,372
We'll get that to go, please.

212
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:15,908
(UPLIFTING MUSIC)

213
00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:17,276
- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
- Um, Andrea?

214
00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:18,310
Mmm hmm?

215
00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:19,778
TINA: <i>I just need to file a complaint.</i>

216
00:06:19,779 --> 00:06:20,946
Is this the right place to do it?

217
00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:22,214
Come on in.

218
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:23,449
I'm just gonna finish this.

219
00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:24,917
<i>Sit yourself down.</i>

220
00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:26,252
And...

221
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:28,687
I am here to listen.

222
00:06:28,688 --> 00:06:29,822
TINA: <i>So I was in the break room,</i>

223
00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:31,690
and I was getting
something from the fridge,

224
00:06:31,691 --> 00:06:33,159
<i>- and then I bent over.
- Mhm.</i>

225
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:35,861
TINA: <i>And Kevin kind of
leaned in and put his</i>

226
00:06:35,862 --> 00:06:37,796
face on my ass.

227
00:06:38,498 --> 00:06:40,166
- Tina, I am so sorry.
- Yeah.

228
00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:43,569
ANDREA: <i>Okay, is it possible
that it was a gust of wind?</i>

229
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:47,173
A gust of wind put its face on my ass?

230
00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:48,541
ANDREA: <i>It's a gusty office.</i>

231
00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:49,942
Lots of winds blowing.

232
00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:52,344
Sort of... (BLOWING)

233
00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:53,846
Look!

234
00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:54,847
Look at that.

235
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:55,848
BRUCE: <i>What's going on?</i>

236
00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:57,049
- Oh, actually...
- <i>Hey, Bruce.</i>

237
00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:58,551
Bruce, I'm just having a private
conversation with Andrea.

238
00:06:58,552 --> 00:06:59,885
Yeah, Tina's accusing Kev

239
00:06:59,886 --> 00:07:01,320
of him putting his face on her ass.

240
00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:02,721
I'm sure it was just
a misunderstanding.

241
00:07:02,722 --> 00:07:04,490
I mean, maybe he was trying
to pick up some garbage

242
00:07:04,491 --> 00:07:06,425
that fell on your dress
and his hands were full

243
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:07,860
so he had to use his face.

244
00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:09,562
ANDREA: <i>Yeah! That's possible.</i>

245
00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:10,563
Mmm hmm.

246
00:07:10,564 --> 00:07:11,564
- Maybe it was an owl.
- Mm.

247
00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:12,731
BRUCE: <i>That was my first thought too.</i>

248
00:07:12,732 --> 00:07:13,732
An owl?

249
00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:14,767
RED DRESS: <i>Yeah, so, Tina,</i>

250
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:17,036
last week I thought that
Kevin came up behind me

251
00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:18,237
and undid my bra,

252
00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:20,072
but then I talked to the team here

253
00:07:20,073 --> 00:07:22,508
and we decided that
actually what happened was

254
00:07:22,509 --> 00:07:24,276
(WHISPERS) I was being
a bit of a crazy bitch.

255
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,212
<i>And what's much more
likely is that an owl</i>

256
00:07:26,213 --> 00:07:28,714
somehow got in the building.

257
00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:29,915
I mean, I don't know.

258
00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:31,383
Maybe through an open window,

259
00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:32,551
<i>we'll probably never know.</i>

260
00:07:32,552 --> 00:07:33,552
But the point is,

261
00:07:33,553 --> 00:07:35,721
it fluttered by me and
then it went to town.

262
00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:36,722
BRUCE: <i>Here's the thing.</i>

263
00:07:36,723 --> 00:07:38,224
(LAUGHS) Uh, Kevin's a great guy,

264
00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:39,391
I golf with Kevin.

265
00:07:39,392 --> 00:07:42,161
I've personally never met
an owl I can golf with.

266
00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:43,162
(LAUGHTER)

267
00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:45,397
No, I-I, that is so true.

268
00:07:45,398 --> 00:07:46,465
<i>Owls?</i>

269
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,500
<i>Have you seen the way
their heads can turn?</i>

270
00:07:48,501 --> 00:07:49,835
Like...

271
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:51,637
Have you seen that, Tina, before?

272
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:54,740
It's like I'm not trying
to get your friend, Kevin,

273
00:07:54,741 --> 00:07:55,975
fired, okay?

274
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,577
I-I just want it on
the record that Kevin...

275
00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:00,546
Or an owl.

276
00:08:00,547 --> 00:08:02,214
I find it actually
really hard to believe

277
00:08:02,215 --> 00:08:03,225
that there's an owl loose.

278
00:08:03,226 --> 00:08:04,783
SUE: <i>Hey guys, don't mind me,
I'm just grabbing a file.</i>

279
00:08:04,784 --> 00:08:05,884
Sue, can you back me up on this?

280
00:08:05,885 --> 00:08:06,952
Sure.

281
00:08:06,953 --> 00:08:08,320
Weren't you saying that-that
Kevin's been, like,

282
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:09,989
lurking around the women's washroom

283
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,390
kind of like, sniffing at the door.

284
00:08:11,391 --> 00:08:12,791
SUE: <i>Oh, um... </i>

285
00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:14,827
TINA: <i>You told me that
he whispered the lyrics</i>

286
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:17,396
to "Purple Rain" in your
ear while he was sort of

287
00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:19,398
<i>weirdly touching his nipples?</i>

288
00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:21,734
SUE: <i>Yeah, that's what
I thought happened.</i>

289
00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:23,802
But then together we
figured out what it was

290
00:08:23,803 --> 00:08:25,404
that really happened.

291
00:08:25,405 --> 00:08:26,572
What happened?

292
00:08:26,573 --> 00:08:28,274
Do you know that episode
of "The Twilight Zone"

293
00:08:28,275 --> 00:08:29,908
where a man is given
an enchanted watch

294
00:08:29,909 --> 00:08:31,110
that freezes time,

295
00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:34,079
and he accidentally messes
with the space time continuum

296
00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:35,748
then he stumbles into
an alternate dimension?

297
00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:38,484
Sue probably accidentally did that.

298
00:08:38,485 --> 00:08:40,486
Yes, it was sorcery

299
00:08:40,487 --> 00:08:42,521
<i>and the Kevin that I thought</i>

300
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:45,491
that I saw was just, um...

301
00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:46,492
(WHISPERS) sorry, what was it?

302
00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:47,493
A whole bunch of owls

303
00:08:47,494 --> 00:08:49,061
squeezed into a human costume.

304
00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:50,829
Owls squeezed into a human costume.

305
00:08:50,830 --> 00:08:51,830
ANDREA: <i>And that is like</i>

306
00:08:51,831 --> 00:08:53,198
way more likely than
Kevin running around

307
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:54,566
molesting a bunch of

308
00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:55,567
women in the office.

309
00:08:55,568 --> 00:08:56,502
Think about it.

310
00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:58,137
<i>This is a serious complaint.</i>

311
00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:00,306
And have you thought about how
much this is gonna upset Kev?

312
00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:01,573
<i>I didn't think so.</i>

313
00:09:01,574 --> 00:09:02,741
<i>Okay, great.</i>

314
00:09:02,742 --> 00:09:03,742
I'm glad we sorted this.

315
00:09:03,743 --> 00:09:04,743
Thank you for coming in.

316
00:09:04,744 --> 00:09:05,744
Thank you for sharing,

317
00:09:05,745 --> 00:09:07,479
and thank you everybody
for helping Tina here

318
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:09,181
remember what really really happened.

319
00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:11,116
<i>I mean, he did organize
the charity raffle</i>

320
00:09:11,117 --> 00:09:12,117
<i>last year, right? So...</i>

321
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:13,118
ANDREA: <i>That's something!</i>

322
00:09:13,119 --> 00:09:14,119
- Yeah.
- Hey, guys!

323
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:15,120
- BRUCE and ANDREA: <i>Hey, Kev!</i>
<i>-</i> Hey.

324
00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:16,121
Ugh.

325
00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:17,122
KEVIN: <i>Hey, Tina!</i>

326
00:09:17,123 --> 00:09:19,058
Keep up the good work!

327
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,059
Alright. Okay.

328
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,060
Boo.

329
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,061
- Honka.
- Oh!

330
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:23,462
Woot woot!

331
00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:24,963
I'll see you guys.

332
00:09:25,799 --> 00:09:26,965
Whoa.

333
00:09:26,966 --> 00:09:28,133
RED DRESS: <i>Wow. Okay, you know what?</i>

334
00:09:28,134 --> 00:09:30,235
<i>I think it's time
that someone spoke up</i>

335
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,004
and admitted what's going on here.

336
00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:33,038
Thank you!

337
00:09:33,039 --> 00:09:34,873
RED DRESS: <i>This office
has an owl problem!</i>

338
00:09:34,874 --> 00:09:35,874
I would say.

339
00:09:35,875 --> 00:09:37,009
SUE: <i>It's a big owl problem.</i>

340
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:39,011
ANDREA: <i>Thank you Tina for coming in.</i>

341
00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:41,480
So nice to chat with you.

342
00:09:41,481 --> 00:09:43,515
I might just look for another job

343
00:09:43,516 --> 00:09:44,550
at another company.

344
00:09:44,551 --> 00:09:45,851
ANDREA: <i>Go ahead, sweetheart.</i>

345
00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:47,219
Word to the wise,

346
00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:48,921
there's a lot of owls out there!

347
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,356
<i>A lot of owls.</i>

348
00:09:50,357 --> 00:09:51,724
(ROCK MUSIC)

349
00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:54,195
<i>? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ?</i>

350
00:09:57,476 --> 00:09:59,877
<i>? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ?</i>

351
00:10:02,047 --> 00:10:03,714
So cute.

352
00:10:03,715 --> 00:10:05,316
I'm just here to return a shirt.

353
00:10:05,317 --> 00:10:06,383
Okay, um,

354
00:10:06,384 --> 00:10:08,385
I got a new phone so I don't know...

355
00:10:08,386 --> 00:10:09,386
Okay!

356
00:10:09,387 --> 00:10:10,387
So your store credit will...

357
00:10:10,388 --> 00:10:12,258
Oh! I don't want a store credit,

358
00:10:12,259 --> 00:10:13,290
I-I want my money back.

359
00:10:13,291 --> 00:10:14,291
Okay, you just need to be calm

360
00:10:14,292 --> 00:10:15,292
and I'll get you your money back.

361
00:10:15,293 --> 00:10:16,293
I'm calm.

362
00:10:16,294 --> 00:10:17,294
No, like really calm.

363
00:10:17,295 --> 00:10:18,462
I'm super calm.

364
00:10:18,463 --> 00:10:20,865
I just want my $300 back, please.

365
00:10:20,866 --> 00:10:23,300
It was a gift from my
brother's girlfriend.

366
00:10:23,301 --> 00:10:24,468
Okay, so you'd like your
brother's girlfriend's

367
00:10:24,469 --> 00:10:25,469
money back?

368
00:10:25,470 --> 00:10:26,904
I would like the money and the value

369
00:10:26,905 --> 00:10:29,840
that she spent on it to go
back to me in my wallet.

370
00:10:29,841 --> 00:10:31,675
Okay, that sounds like algebra.

371
00:10:31,676 --> 00:10:33,143
But what I can tell you,

372
00:10:33,144 --> 00:10:34,879
we have a 30 day return
policy in our store.

373
00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:36,881
This is not within that.

374
00:10:36,882 --> 00:10:38,482
And this definitely
is within that time,

375
00:10:38,483 --> 00:10:39,717
because it was a birthday present.

376
00:10:39,718 --> 00:10:40,918
My birthday was only about a week ago.

377
00:10:40,919 --> 00:10:41,919
Happy belated birthday.

378
00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:42,920
<i>Thank you so much.</i>

379
00:10:42,921 --> 00:10:43,921
And the date's on here, so...

380
00:10:43,922 --> 00:10:45,189
<i>Actually, I need you to prove to me</i>

381
00:10:45,190 --> 00:10:47,024
that your brother's girlfriend
actually bought it in the store.

382
00:10:47,025 --> 00:10:48,526
So like, I don't really know
her and I don't remember...

383
00:10:48,527 --> 00:10:49,727
Well, it's actually super easy.

384
00:10:49,728 --> 00:10:51,395
One, it's like right over
there hanging on the mannequin.

385
00:10:51,396 --> 00:10:52,630
<i>It is written here on the label.</i>

386
00:10:52,631 --> 00:10:53,797
It's also written here on the tag.

387
00:10:53,798 --> 00:10:54,965
Fine, if you just remain calm.

388
00:10:54,966 --> 00:10:56,300
Oh, I'm-I'm calm.

389
00:10:56,301 --> 00:10:57,301
What's wrong with the shirt?

390
00:10:57,302 --> 00:10:58,736
Just here, it's uh,

391
00:10:58,737 --> 00:10:59,737
it's just like too big.

392
00:10:59,738 --> 00:11:01,038
Can you just try it on for me?

393
00:11:01,039 --> 00:11:02,473
Oh, no, I don't need to try it on.

394
00:11:02,474 --> 00:11:03,674
Would you like your $300 back?

395
00:11:03,675 --> 00:11:05,075
Yeah, sure. No problem.

396
00:11:05,076 --> 00:11:06,310
No, I will try it on.

397
00:11:06,311 --> 00:11:07,645
It's just store policy, so.

398
00:11:07,646 --> 00:11:08,746
You don't even have to keep talking.

399
00:11:08,747 --> 00:11:09,747
I understand what you said.

400
00:11:09,748 --> 00:11:12,149
CLERK: <i>Just try it on and I'll stop.</i>

401
00:11:12,150 --> 00:11:13,484
See? It's just not really me.

402
00:11:13,485 --> 00:11:14,485
It looks great!

403
00:11:14,486 --> 00:11:15,886
No, it doesn't.
It does not look good at all.

404
00:11:15,887 --> 00:11:16,887
I think it's beautiful.

405
00:11:16,888 --> 00:11:18,322
No, I do not look beautiful.

406
00:11:18,323 --> 00:11:19,323
I think you look pretty nice.

407
00:11:19,324 --> 00:11:21,025
No, I look like a renaissance clown

408
00:11:21,026 --> 00:11:22,726
who paints portraits on
the side to make money.

409
00:11:22,727 --> 00:11:24,194
- I'd buy that portraiture.
- I'm not selling it.

410
00:11:24,195 --> 00:11:25,195
I don't think it's beautiful.

411
00:11:25,196 --> 00:11:26,263
I think it's too big.

412
00:11:26,264 --> 00:11:27,698
I think, in fact, two
people could fit in here.

413
00:11:27,699 --> 00:11:29,199
CLERK: <i>I don't know if
there's room for two people.</i>

414
00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:30,868
- There is!
- You know what I like?

415
00:11:30,869 --> 00:11:32,536
- Facts! And here we go.
- Okay, alright.

416
00:11:32,537 --> 00:11:33,871
You know what?

417
00:11:33,872 --> 00:11:35,306
CLERK: <i>Boo, here I am and I'm
just not fitting comfortably</i>

418
00:11:35,307 --> 00:11:36,307
<i>in this shirt.</i>

419
00:11:36,308 --> 00:11:37,875
Actually, the shirt
has never fit better.

420
00:11:37,876 --> 00:11:39,543
CLERK: <i>Well, if you like
that the way the shirt fits,</i>

421
00:11:39,544 --> 00:11:40,744
you should buy the shirt.

422
00:11:40,745 --> 00:11:41,745
I'm not buying this shirt.

423
00:11:41,746 --> 00:11:42,813
CLERK: <i>You need a shower by the way.</i>

424
00:11:42,814 --> 00:11:44,548
Okay, I just, it's gigantic!

425
00:11:44,549 --> 00:11:46,150
I don't know if you saw
the sign when you walked in,

426
00:11:46,151 --> 00:11:47,551
but you can take a
quick read of it now.

427
00:11:47,552 --> 00:11:49,053
<i>"We are not responsible
for your damaged</i>

428
00:11:49,054 --> 00:11:50,220
<i>perception of self."</i>

429
00:11:50,221 --> 00:11:52,423
Wow, okay, I don't have a
damaged perception of self.

430
00:11:52,424 --> 00:11:53,490
- I'm very...
- You actually do.

431
00:11:53,491 --> 00:11:56,093
I know I'm super happy
with my style and my look,

432
00:11:56,094 --> 00:11:57,895
and this does not match either of it.

433
00:11:57,896 --> 00:11:58,896
I mean, listen here,

434
00:11:58,897 --> 00:12:00,598
<i>why don't you just like, buy a belt</i>

435
00:12:00,599 --> 00:12:02,366
if you think that will help.
I don't know.

436
00:12:02,367 --> 00:12:04,201
Yeah, I don't want a belt.
This is a $400 belt.

437
00:12:04,202 --> 00:12:05,369
Fantastic. Will that
be debit or credit?

438
00:12:05,370 --> 00:12:06,737
It will be nothing or nothing.

439
00:12:06,738 --> 00:12:08,539
Actually, it's your job
to give me money back

440
00:12:08,540 --> 00:12:09,773
and I will take it in cash.

441
00:12:09,774 --> 00:12:10,774
Thank you.

442
00:12:10,775 --> 00:12:12,042
I'm so sorry, that shirt's
already been worn.

443
00:12:12,043 --> 00:12:13,277
Uh, you asked me to wear it.

444
00:12:13,278 --> 00:12:14,411
Buy a blazer and we'll call it even.

445
00:12:14,412 --> 00:12:15,613
- How about that?
- <i>Yeah, I don't need a blazer.</i>

446
00:12:15,614 --> 00:12:16,914
<i>I'm actually wearing
a really nice blazer.</i>

447
00:12:16,915 --> 00:12:18,048
<i>I don't need another one.</i>

448
00:12:18,049 --> 00:12:20,050
I just want to return
this goddamn shirt!

449
00:12:20,051 --> 00:12:21,552
Oops, you stretched!
You break it, you bought it.

450
00:12:21,553 --> 00:12:22,953
No I just, it was already bought.

451
00:12:22,954 --> 00:12:24,722
Well done us, fantastic!

452
00:12:24,723 --> 00:12:25,889
Thank you for coming in!

453
00:12:25,890 --> 00:12:28,092
Lovely to speak to you, not really.

454
00:12:28,093 --> 00:12:29,426
<i>- Goodbye.
- Okay, give me a belt.</i>

455
00:12:29,427 --> 00:12:30,928
It'll be $400, please.

456
00:12:31,763 --> 00:12:32,763
Thank you.

457
00:12:32,764 --> 00:12:33,764
I'm keeping the shirt.

458
00:12:33,765 --> 00:12:34,765
That's great!

459
00:12:34,766 --> 00:12:35,799
You're a monster.

460
00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:36,934
You're a clown.

461
00:12:36,935 --> 00:12:38,869
Still think you look
great in the shirt.

462
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:42,102
Okay guys, it was a great season!

463
00:12:42,103 --> 00:12:43,270
I'm really proud of you.

464
00:12:43,271 --> 00:12:44,838
<i>I've got some trophies to give out.</i>

465
00:12:44,839 --> 00:12:45,939
<i>When I call your name,</i>

466
00:12:45,940 --> 00:12:47,608
please come up and accept your award.

467
00:12:47,609 --> 00:12:48,609
Uh, Kiera.

468
00:12:48,610 --> 00:12:49,610
<i>Where's Kiera?</i>

469
00:12:49,611 --> 00:12:50,611
- Oh!
- <i>Hi.</i>

470
00:12:50,612 --> 00:12:51,845
Alright.

471
00:12:51,846 --> 00:12:53,780
<i>You managed to stay off your
phone, for the most part,</i>

472
00:12:53,781 --> 00:12:55,149
<i>even when the game was super boring.</i>

473
00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:56,984
- Proud of you, kid.
- Thanks, Coach!

474
00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:58,552
Okay, uh, oh, where's Jason?

475
00:12:58,553 --> 00:12:59,586
Yup, yup, that's me! Excuse me. Okay.

476
00:12:59,587 --> 00:13:02,823
Jason, you remembered
your kids' water bottle

477
00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:04,091
<i>each and every game.</i>

478
00:13:04,092 --> 00:13:05,459
<i>- Great hustle, great hustle!
- Thank you.</i>

479
00:13:05,460 --> 00:13:07,161
Okay, where's Gemma?

480
00:13:07,162 --> 00:13:08,362
GEMMA: <i>Oh, oh.</i>

481
00:13:08,363 --> 00:13:11,465
I am very pleased to
give you the MVP award,

482
00:13:11,466 --> 00:13:13,267
Most Valuable Parent.

483
00:13:13,268 --> 00:13:16,537
Your decision to spike the
parents' coffee thermos,

484
00:13:16,538 --> 00:13:19,106
ah, it just it really
turned the season around

485
00:13:19,107 --> 00:13:21,041
and brought us together as a team.

486
00:13:21,943 --> 00:13:23,810
Okay guys, so that's
it for the season.

487
00:13:23,811 --> 00:13:26,213
Ummm, I guess I'll see you next year

488
00:13:26,214 --> 00:13:28,115
unless you choose to
play another sport,

489
00:13:28,116 --> 00:13:31,351
which I think some of you
should really think about doing.

490
00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:32,719
<i>Don't scowl at me like that!</i>

491
00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:34,821
Where was that fire during the season?

492
00:13:34,822 --> 00:13:36,857
So you're gonna go to
the mandatory fun day?

493
00:13:36,858 --> 00:13:38,492
Well, it's mandatory so.

494
00:13:38,493 --> 00:13:40,227
- I guess.
- <i>Ohhhhh.</i>

495
00:13:40,228 --> 00:13:41,828
<i>Kaitlyn's here.</i>

496
00:13:41,829 --> 00:13:42,829
WOMAN 1: <i>She's too quirky.</i>

497
00:13:42,830 --> 00:13:44,731
<i>It's too much. I don't want it.</i>

498
00:13:44,732 --> 00:13:46,166
WOMAN 2: (WHISPERS)
<i>What's wrong with her?</i>

499
00:13:46,167 --> 00:13:48,535
It looks like a fabric
store threw up on her.

500
00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:49,836
Oh!

501
00:13:51,439 --> 00:13:52,706
What a klutz! Oh!

502
00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:54,608
And the way she's always
bursting into song

503
00:13:54,609 --> 00:13:56,109
about how weird she is.

504
00:13:56,110 --> 00:13:57,377
- Ugh.
- It sucks.

505
00:13:57,378 --> 00:13:58,378
<i>She sucks.</i>

506
00:13:58,379 --> 00:13:59,713
WOMAN 1: <i>Mmm hmm.</i>

507
00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:01,448
KAITLYN: <i>Oh my gosh.</i>

508
00:14:01,449 --> 00:14:02,883
Did you guys see that?

509
00:14:02,884 --> 00:14:04,218
- Uh huh.
- Yeah.

510
00:14:04,219 --> 00:14:06,853
Could I be more awkward? Oh.
(PLAYFUL INSTRUMENTAL)

511
00:14:06,854 --> 00:14:07,854
WOMAN 1: <i>I don't care.</i>

512
00:14:07,855 --> 00:14:08,855
I don't know.

513
00:14:08,856 --> 00:14:11,158
(PLAYFUL UPLIFTING INSTRUMENTAL)

514
00:14:11,159 --> 00:14:14,494
? I start my day at 9 a.m. ?

515
00:14:14,495 --> 00:14:15,495
? Say to myself, ?

516
00:14:15,496 --> 00:14:17,931
? "Oh, here we go again. ?

517
00:14:17,932 --> 00:14:18,999
? "Be confident. ?

518
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:20,067
? "Be smart. ?

519
00:14:20,068 --> 00:14:22,369
? "Try to stay alert. ?

520
00:14:22,370 --> 00:14:28,175
? "And for god-sakes Kaitlyn,
learn to flirt." ?

521
00:14:28,176 --> 00:14:29,476
- Hi!
- Ah!

522
00:14:30,912 --> 00:14:32,512
Every time.

523
00:14:32,513 --> 00:14:33,914
(SCOFFS)

524
00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:37,017
? I'm just a Junior Ad Exec. ?

525
00:14:38,019 --> 00:14:41,088
? I try to do my best. ?

526
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:42,089
- ? Whoo! ?
- MAN: <i>Come on!</i>

527
00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:45,792
? But if there's one
thing I'll admit, ?

528
00:14:45,793 --> 00:14:48,996
? Is that I'm a total mess! ?

529
00:14:48,997 --> 00:14:49,997
Jesus Christ!

530
00:14:49,998 --> 00:14:51,531
It burns!

531
00:14:51,733 --> 00:14:55,502
? I need this job so
I don't go broke. ?

532
00:14:55,503 --> 00:14:58,171
? Too bad my boss thinks
I'm a total joke. ?

533
00:14:58,172 --> 00:14:59,573
Can you put that down, please?

534
00:14:59,574 --> 00:15:00,574
Thank you.

535
00:15:00,575 --> 00:15:04,177
? Oh I hope she doesn't see ?

536
00:15:04,178 --> 00:15:10,250
? Just how awkward I can be! ?

537
00:15:10,251 --> 00:15:13,720
? If only the silly little
quirky girl could find ?

538
00:15:13,721 --> 00:15:15,422
(TOILET WHOOSHING)

539
00:15:15,423 --> 00:15:21,395
? someone who loved
my heart and my mind. ?

540
00:15:21,396 --> 00:15:24,631
? Someone who likes
my big weird skirts ?

541
00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:28,302
? And when I go ballistic. ?

542
00:15:28,303 --> 00:15:32,139
? Someone who wears ironic t-shirts ?

543
00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:36,076
? Whose dreamy and artistic. ?

544
00:15:37,612 --> 00:15:39,479
? But who? ?

545
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:40,580
(FUN PLAYFUL INSTRUMENTAL)

546
00:15:40,581 --> 00:15:43,817
I've literally asked you out twice!

547
00:15:43,818 --> 00:15:46,620
Both times you pretend
like you literally

548
00:15:46,621 --> 00:15:48,655
didn't understand what I was saying

549
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,557
and then you immediately sang a song

550
00:15:50,558 --> 00:15:52,726
about how you wished
you could find anyone

551
00:15:52,727 --> 00:15:55,896
who fit my exact description!

552
00:15:55,897 --> 00:15:59,833
(STAMMERING) It's hurtful and
it's weird what you're doing!

553
00:16:00,768 --> 00:16:02,235
What's that, friend?

554
00:16:02,236 --> 00:16:03,470
That's me!

555
00:16:03,471 --> 00:16:04,671
That's my...

556
00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:06,340
I think you're a bad person!

557
00:16:06,341 --> 00:16:09,309
? I'm the worst at the flirts ?

558
00:16:09,310 --> 00:16:11,011
? Don't stand a chance at work ?

559
00:16:11,012 --> 00:16:12,913
? And the guys I meet are jerks ?

560
00:16:12,914 --> 00:16:16,450
? But we all have our quirks ?

561
00:16:18,152 --> 00:16:19,186
What?

562
00:16:19,187 --> 00:16:20,187
No?

563
00:16:20,188 --> 00:16:21,455
Just me?

564
00:16:21,456 --> 00:16:22,723
Oh well!

565
00:16:22,724 --> 00:16:28,295
(DRAMATIC MUSICAL INSTRUMENTAL)

566
00:16:28,296 --> 00:16:33,367
? Yes I'm the quirkiest
quirkiest quirkiest girl ?

567
00:16:33,368 --> 00:16:36,670
? Quirkiest quirkiest quirkiest girl ?

568
00:16:36,671 --> 00:16:41,041
? The quirkiest quirkiest girl! ?

569
00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:45,145
? You ever did see! ?

570
00:16:45,146 --> 00:16:49,549
? La da da da da da ?

571
00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:52,853
? La da da da da da! ?
(MUSIC ENDS)

572
00:16:52,854 --> 00:16:55,288
? Wooo hooo! ?

573
00:16:55,289 --> 00:16:58,291
? Quirkiest girl ?

574
00:16:58,292 --> 00:16:59,459
I mean, (SINGING IN BACKGROUND)

575
00:16:59,460 --> 00:17:01,695
honestly she seems unwell.

576
00:17:01,696 --> 00:17:05,365
? Quirkiest girl ?

577
00:17:05,366 --> 00:17:06,800
I fucking hate her though.

578
00:17:06,801 --> 00:17:07,801
(SCOFFS)

579
00:17:07,802 --> 00:17:09,035
(ROCK MUSIC)

580
00:17:09,036 --> 00:17:11,372
<i>? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ?</i>

581
00:17:15,091 --> 00:17:18,259
<i>? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh</i>

582
00:17:19,395 --> 00:17:20,695
(BELL RINGING)
(DOOR OPENS)

583
00:17:22,152 --> 00:17:23,453
(GASPS)

584
00:17:24,700 --> 00:17:25,700
- EMPLOYEE: <i>Ah, ah, ah!</i>
<i>-</i> Ow.

585
00:17:25,701 --> 00:17:27,802
Sweetie, when we touch the crystals,

586
00:17:27,803 --> 00:17:29,137
we soil them with our energy,

587
00:17:29,138 --> 00:17:31,339
thereby lessening their
healing properties.

588
00:17:31,340 --> 00:17:32,974
- Sorry.
- <i>No, it's okay.</i>

589
00:17:32,975 --> 00:17:34,142
I didn't mean to get the,

590
00:17:34,143 --> 00:17:36,978
my dirty, like energy on the rocks.

591
00:17:36,979 --> 00:17:38,179
- Crystals.
- <i>Crystals. Sorry.</i>

592
00:17:38,180 --> 00:17:40,481
- EMPLOYEE: <i>Yeah.
- Okay, well I don't really... </i>

593
00:17:40,482 --> 00:17:42,183
- Okay, what I'm looking for...
- Don't tell me!

594
00:17:42,184 --> 00:17:44,385
<i>- I'm not gonna tell you?
- No, come.</i>

595
00:17:44,386 --> 00:17:45,687
Come.

596
00:17:45,688 --> 00:17:46,988
Come, come come!

597
00:17:46,989 --> 00:17:48,423
(STAMMERS)

598
00:17:48,424 --> 00:17:49,824
<i>- It's okay, it's okay.</i>
<i>-</i> Really?

599
00:17:49,825 --> 00:17:50,925
<i>No, I can touch this.</i>

600
00:17:50,926 --> 00:17:52,327
<i>Do you feel that, do you feel that?</i>

601
00:17:52,328 --> 00:17:53,761
Feel the invisible?
EMPLOYEE: <i>(EXHALES)</i>

602
00:17:53,762 --> 00:17:55,230
No, I don't, because it's not-

603
00:17:55,231 --> 00:17:56,798
- Okay.
- Okay, come just right here.

604
00:17:56,799 --> 00:17:58,867
- (EXHALES DEEPLY)
- Whoa!

605
00:17:58,868 --> 00:18:00,068
(EXHALES DEEPLY)

606
00:18:00,069 --> 00:18:03,905
I'm sensing that you have a
very weakened immune system.

607
00:18:03,906 --> 00:18:05,173
I'm actually pretty healthy.

608
00:18:05,174 --> 00:18:07,175
Outwardly you may seem healthy,

609
00:18:07,176 --> 00:18:08,504
but you see these right here?

610
00:18:08,505 --> 00:18:10,457
- My eyes?
- These are called pockets of regret.

611
00:18:10,458 --> 00:18:12,760
- Okay.
<i>- And they hold all of your grief.</i>

612
00:18:12,761 --> 00:18:13,761
CUSTOMER: <i>Hmm.</i>

613
00:18:13,762 --> 00:18:16,263
And you're just giving
your face a kind of

614
00:18:16,264 --> 00:18:18,165
sad basset hound quality.

615
00:18:18,166 --> 00:18:19,466
Good.

616
00:18:19,467 --> 00:18:21,602
- Thank you for...
- You're welcome.

617
00:18:21,603 --> 00:18:22,770
Could I just get one of those ones.

618
00:18:22,771 --> 00:18:23,771
EMPLOYEE: <i>Don't tell me.</i>

619
00:18:23,772 --> 00:18:24,838
I need to tell you, I'd like to...

620
00:18:24,839 --> 00:18:27,007
No, I-I, I think it's
just really better

621
00:18:27,008 --> 00:18:28,075
if you let your body tell me

622
00:18:28,076 --> 00:18:29,810
and you keep the words
inside your mouth.

623
00:18:29,811 --> 00:18:31,478
- You want my body to tell you?
- <i>Yeah!</i>

624
00:18:31,479 --> 00:18:32,479
- (EXHALES DEEPLY)
- Whoa!

625
00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:34,815
Okay, your root chakra is really dry.

626
00:18:34,816 --> 00:18:35,816
Is it?

627
00:18:35,817 --> 00:18:36,884
It's very dry.

628
00:18:36,885 --> 00:18:38,686
It's a dry, duttonn...

629
00:18:38,687 --> 00:18:40,054
It's-it's an energetic...

630
00:18:40,055 --> 00:18:41,755
- It's a dustbowl down there.
- Alright.

631
00:18:41,756 --> 00:18:42,756
It's all cracked up.

632
00:18:42,757 --> 00:18:44,324
- Can I ask you a question?
- <i>Sure.</i>

633
00:18:44,325 --> 00:18:45,526
What do you do for a living?

634
00:18:45,527 --> 00:18:46,827
- I'm a...
- <i>Let me guess.</i>

635
00:18:47,062 --> 00:18:48,996
- Coal miner.
- Paralegal.

636
00:18:48,997 --> 00:18:50,130
- Huh!
- <i>Mmm.</i>

637
00:18:50,131 --> 00:18:52,833
Because usually I only see
your complexion on people

638
00:18:52,834 --> 00:18:55,602
with a very severe
vitamin D deficiency.

639
00:18:55,603 --> 00:18:56,837
Oh.

640
00:18:56,838 --> 00:18:59,039
EMPLOYEE: <i>Like 18th Century
orphans or, you know,</i>

641
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:01,175
- <i>they have rickets and jaundice
- And stuff.</i>

642
00:19:01,176 --> 00:19:03,043
- and loose teeth 'cause they...
- <i>Doesn't ring a bell.</i>

643
00:19:03,044 --> 00:19:05,479
I'm just gonna look around.

644
00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:07,414
- Ha!
- Ha! By myself!

645
00:19:07,415 --> 00:19:09,016
- And you stay there.
- I knew it, I knew it.

646
00:19:09,017 --> 00:19:10,017
With those things.

647
00:19:10,018 --> 00:19:11,151
You're a seeker.

648
00:19:11,152 --> 00:19:13,654
You know, the love that
you're seeking is right there.

649
00:19:13,655 --> 00:19:14,655
In my throat?

650
00:19:14,656 --> 00:19:15,656
That's home for you.

651
00:19:15,657 --> 00:19:16,657
Ding ding ding ding!

652
00:19:16,658 --> 00:19:17,891
- I know what I would like.
- Uh huh?

653
00:19:17,892 --> 00:19:19,226
I would like a rock
that would protect me

654
00:19:19,227 --> 00:19:20,227
from negative energy.

655
00:19:20,228 --> 00:19:21,762
Can I have one of those?

656
00:19:22,497 --> 00:19:23,664
Rose quartz.

657
00:19:23,665 --> 00:19:24,665
Great!

658
00:19:24,666 --> 00:19:25,666
Here we go.

659
00:19:25,667 --> 00:19:27,101
Thank you so much!

660
00:19:27,102 --> 00:19:28,102
Oh, oh!

661
00:19:28,103 --> 00:19:29,103
Did that...

662
00:19:29,104 --> 00:19:30,104
How's that for you? Did that work?

663
00:19:30,105 --> 00:19:31,105
<i>Fuck!</i>

664
00:19:31,106 --> 00:19:32,106
Oh, great! It does work!

665
00:19:32,107 --> 00:19:33,507
That's wonderful!

666
00:19:33,508 --> 00:19:35,609
How's your, um, how's your chicken?

667
00:19:36,878 --> 00:19:38,445
It's kind of dry actually.

668
00:19:38,446 --> 00:19:40,380
Yeah, I think my pasta's a bit globby.

669
00:19:40,381 --> 00:19:41,882
It doesn't feel very hot,
and the salad's...

670
00:19:41,883 --> 00:19:42,883
The salad is like...

671
00:19:42,884 --> 00:19:43,917
Just oily and...

672
00:19:43,918 --> 00:19:46,553
Yeah, mine just tastes
like the bag it came from.

673
00:19:46,554 --> 00:19:48,322
The lettuce is a bit dry too.

674
00:19:48,323 --> 00:19:49,323
Oh, is it really?

675
00:19:49,324 --> 00:19:50,557
Ladies, how's everything so far?

676
00:19:50,558 --> 00:19:51,592
Oh, delicious!

677
00:19:51,593 --> 00:19:52,593
It's amazing!

678
00:19:52,594 --> 00:19:53,594
Thank you so much.

679
00:19:53,595 --> 00:19:54,595
Our compliments to the chef.
Thank you.

680
00:19:54,596 --> 00:19:56,163
- WAITRESS: <i>I'm very glad.
- Thank you.</i>

681
00:19:56,164 --> 00:19:57,498
- Thanks so much.
- <i>Thank you.</i>

682
00:19:57,499 --> 00:19:59,633
Great. Mhm.

683
00:19:59,634 --> 00:20:00,934
Choke this down.

684
00:20:01,402 --> 00:20:03,237
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa,
bro bro bro bro bro!

685
00:20:03,238 --> 00:20:04,238
Check it out, check it out.

686
00:20:04,239 --> 00:20:05,405
I know, man.

687
00:20:05,406 --> 00:20:07,441
That chick, she is bangin'.

688
00:20:07,442 --> 00:20:09,510
Man, she is like slammin'!

689
00:20:09,511 --> 00:20:12,279
Yeah (MOANS).

690
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:13,280
I'd like to hit that.

691
00:20:13,281 --> 00:20:14,281
Yeah, yeah.

692
00:20:14,282 --> 00:20:15,849
Why don't you go tap it, man!

693
00:20:15,850 --> 00:20:17,150
Yeah.

694
00:20:19,053 --> 00:20:20,053
Tap it.

695
00:20:20,054 --> 00:20:21,054
(DRUMMING)

696
00:20:21,055 --> 00:20:22,389
Excuse me, ma'am!!

697
00:20:23,224 --> 00:20:24,625
Can I hit that?

698
00:20:24,626 --> 00:20:25,626
Uh, yeah.

699
00:20:25,627 --> 00:20:26,627
<i>I was gonna take a break anyways.</i>

700
00:20:26,628 --> 00:20:27,628
Thank you.

701
00:20:27,629 --> 00:20:28,929
Thank you very much.

702
00:20:29,964 --> 00:20:31,131
(TAPPING)

703
00:20:31,132 --> 00:20:33,333
(OUT OF BEAT DRUMMING)

704
00:20:33,334 --> 00:20:34,334
TALL GUY: <i>Alright, okay, easy!</i>

705
00:20:34,335 --> 00:20:35,636
Take it easy, man! Take it easy.

706
00:20:35,637 --> 00:20:37,638
You gotta hit it and
then you gotta quit it.

707
00:20:37,639 --> 00:20:38,639
That's cool, bro.

708
00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:39,640
Alright, get outta here.

709
00:20:39,641 --> 00:20:40,674
Thanks for the support, man.

710
00:20:40,675 --> 00:20:41,675
Uh, alright.

711
00:20:41,676 --> 00:20:42,676
Thank you very much.

712
00:20:42,677 --> 00:20:44,845
Thanks for, uh,
letting us tap that, man.

713
00:20:44,846 --> 00:20:46,079
- Thanks.
- See you later.

714
00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:47,080
Alright.

715
00:20:47,081 --> 00:20:49,016
You got any bongos I
could smack around?

716
00:20:49,017 --> 00:20:51,018
No, man.

717
00:20:51,019 --> 00:20:52,019
<i>Take care.</i>

718
00:20:52,020 --> 00:20:57,024
(RHYTHMIC DRUMMING)

719
00:20:57,025 --> 00:21:09,037
?

720
00:21:09,684 --> 00:21:15,684
Subtitle sync and corrections by
<b>awaqeded</b> for <b>www.addic7ed.com.</b>

721
00:21:15,734 --> 00:21:20,284
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0


